Anticipatory Thinking: The Burden Carers Bear

Anticipatory Thinking: The Burden Carers Bear

Disclaimer: The information below is not intended as medical advice and is only intended to offer points you may wish to consider in 'non-emergency situations', along with guidance on where to find additional support. You should consult an appropriate medical professional if you have concerns about your or a loved one's health. Dial 999 in an emergency if someone is in a life-threatening condition.

Living in the present moment is something many people struggle with. Our minds often bounce between ruminating on the past and worrying about the future, making it hard to fully experience what’s happening right now.

This is known as anticipatory thinking - recognising potential challenges and trying to prevent or manage them before they’ve even happened. While it can sharpen problem‑solving skills and help you feel prepared, it can also be mentally and emotionally exhausting when you’re constantly focused on what’s next.

Why anticipatory thinking hits carers hard

Working carers often find themselves caught in anticipatory thinking because their role involves constant responsibility and unpredictability. Juggling work, family, and care duties means they’re always planning ahead, trying to prevent emergencies or care breakdowns. Even small uncertainties, like missed medication or unexpected health changes, can trigger worry, making forward-focused thinking feel necessary. While this helps manage risks, it can also be mentally exhausting, leaving little space to live in the present.

But living in a constant state of future‑focused thinking can take a toll on your mental health, wellbeing, and energy levels. Fortunately, there are ways to reduce its impact without ignoring your responsibilities. Below are some practical ways to reframe anticipatory thinking, helping you find a healthier balance between planning ahead and living in the moment.

  1. Name it to tame it

When worry starts to creep in, pause and take a closer look. What exactly is it that you’re worried about? Naming your worry can turn a nebulous “What if something goes wrong?” into a specific, manageable concern - making it feel less overwhelming and easier to handle.

  • Clarify the source of your anxiety – Often the surface worry (like “I’ll be late cooking Mum’s dinner”) is linked to a deeper fear (disappointing others, not being good enough, or losing control).
  • Reduce the power of the worry – Once named, a fear becomes a concrete problem you can approach logically, instead of a vague, escalating emotion.
  • Take actionable steps – Knowing what’s driving your worry allows you to plan practical solutions or adjust your mindset, instead of endlessly ruminating.

For instance, on the surface, you might think, “I’m stressed about going to Dad’s because I have so much to do.” But if you pause and name your worry, you might realize the deeper concern is, “I’m afraid I won’t spend enough quality time with him or disappoint him.” Once you identify this, you can reframe your approach: focus on the time you do have together, and accept that the house doesn’t need to be perfectly tidy.

  1. Flip the script: reframing your thoughts

Reframing your thoughts can be especially helpful if you’re constantly worried about what lies ahead.

For example:

Instead of: “I’m worried about meeting a new client because I’ll stumble over my words.” Try: “I get the opportunity to meet a new client. This could open doors for my career, and I deserve to be here.”

Or, instead of: “I’ve got so much cleaning to do when I get to Dad’s. I’m overwhelmed.”

Try: “My priority is spending time with Dad. The cleaning doesn’t have to be perfect.”

This kind of mindset shift takes practise and conscious effort, and it may feel unnatural at first. Over time, though, it can reduce stress and help you approach challenges with more confidence and self‑kindness.

  1. Reality check your worries

Another way to tackle anticipatory thinking is to challenge your beliefs. Ask yourself: Do I know this will definitely happen? Is this worry 100% true? What is actually more likely to happen?

Anticipatory thinking is about situations that haven’t happened yet and may never happen at all. And even if the worst did happen, ask yourself how you could cope. Chances are, you’ve dealt with difficult situations before, and you managed.

Focus on the present moment through deep breathing, body scans, or mindful observation. This interrupts the cycle of worrying about the future and brings attention back to what’s happening now.

  1. Use affirmations

Positive affirmations can be powerful tools for adults and children. If you’re new to them, you might feel a little silly at first but stick with it. They really can help re‑anchor your thoughts. In the context of anticipatory thinking, affirmations are about reminding yourself what is within your control:

  • “I am a capable person.”
  • “I have a lot on, and I can manage it.”
  • “Some things are beyond my control, and that’s okay.”
  • “Worrying about the future won’t change what’s ahead.”

If helpful, try pairing affirmations with your morning routine or writing them down when your worries start spiralling.

  1. Build contingency plans

Having contingency plans helps carers manage anticipatory thinking by giving them a sense of preparedness and control over situations that might go wrong. Instead of spiralling into “what if” worries, they know there’s a practical backup in place.

For example:

  • If your parent misses a medication dose, you have a clear step on what to do or who to call.
  • If you can’t make it to work on time due to a care emergency, you know how to notify your manager and arrange cover.
  • If a care provider cancels, you have an alternative back-up option ready.

Knowing these plans exist reduces stress and mental load, because your mind isn’t constantly running through worst-case scenarios - you have a strategy to handle them if they happen.

  1. Time-Blocking and Structured Planning

One way to manage anticipatory thinking is to schedule your tasks and worries, rather than letting them run constantly in your mind. Carers can set aside specific times for daily responsibilities and even designate a short “worry window” to think through future challenges. For example, you might plan 15 minutes in the morning to check schedules, appointments, or potential issues for the day, then focus on tasks at hand without letting “what if” scenarios spiral.

By organising your day and compartmentalising your worries, you create structure and reduce mental clutter. This approach makes anticipatory thinking feel purposeful rather than overwhelming, helping you stay present while still being prepared for what lies ahead.

When to seek professional support

Anticipatory thinking is normal within reason. But if your anxiety feels persistent, overwhelming, or starts to interfere with daily life, it may be time to seek professional support.

A GP, therapist, or mental health professional can help you develop personalised coping strategies and provide reassurance when worries feel unmanageable. You can find some further resources here: