Teaching Elderly Parents to Trust Technology

Technology can mean different things depending on when you grew up.

Children today swipe, tap and explore instinctively, often before they can even read. For them, technology isn’t something that’s learned, it’s something that’s lived.

Those now in mid-life, meanwhile, have been part of technology’s rapid transformation; they’ve marched alongside it on the path of progress, learning as it evolved, picking things up as they went. Sometimes, new technologies have felt like something to celebrate, saving time or headspace. At other times, it’s felt scarier, prompting suspicion and scepticism.

Why technology can feel different in later life

For those in their later years, however, the transition has felt altogether trickier. They’ve lived out most of their lives without smartphones, apps and online services. Technology isn’t woven into routine in the way it is for other generations. It arrived later, and often quickly, and sometimes hand in hand with a loss of human connection – which can be more important than ever in later life.

If you’re supporting both children and ageing parents, these different perspectives on our digital world can create a unique kind of contradiction; you might be encouraging one generation to take a break from screens, while trying to help another take a step towards them.

One thing is for sure: new technologies are here to stay. When it comes to helping older parents to engage with them, the challenge doesn’t just lie in showing how they work. It’s about building trust – in the tools, and in themselves.

Understanding where hesitation comes from

For many older adults, hesitation isn’t about ability, but about how technology feels: unfamiliar, fast-moving, sometimes something to fear. Understanding those concerns can help shift the conversation from ‘teaching’ to ‘supporting’, and make the first steps feel far more manageable.

Before starting with solutions, it helps to understand what’s really behind wariness. For many older people, it isn’t just about learning something new. It can include:

• A fear of making mistakes or ‘breaking’ something
• Concerns about scams, privacy, or being taken advantage of
• A feeling that technology isn’t designed with them in mind
• Limited opportunities to practise in a safe, supportive way

Research from Ofcom shows that digital exclusion is often linked not just to access but to confidence and skills*. When we recognise this, the goal shifts from teaching tools to building confidence.

5 ways to help an elderly parent feel more confident using technology

1. Start with what matters to them

Technology feels very different when it’s tied to something meaningful. Instead of starting with ‘learning how to use a smartphone’, try showing them how to video call grandchildren, helping them access familiar TV programmes or hobbies online, or setting up simple photo sharing.

When the purpose feels personal, motivation tends to follow. It’s not about digital skills for their own sake – it’s about keeping connected, encouraging independence, and enhancing enjoyment.

2. Keep it slow, simple, and repeatable

What feels obvious to you might feel overwhelming to someone else. Try to:

• Introduce one feature at a time
• Use clear, everyday language, avoiding jargon
• Repeat steps together at a steady pace

Strive for small, consistent practice rather than one long ‘lesson’. A helpful question to ask yourself is “Could they do this again on their own tomorrow?”

3. Create a safe space for mistakes

Fear of getting things wrong is often one of the biggest barriers. Reassure your parent that mistakes are expected and fixable, that most devices have ‘undo’ options, and that you’re there to help without judgement.

This might sound simple, but it changes everything. Confidence grows when people feel safe to try.

4. Use written or visual prompts

Memory can be another challenge – especially with unfamiliar steps.

Consider:

• Writing down simple instructions in their own words
• Creating step-by-step guides with screenshots
• Labelling buttons or apps, where helpful

These small supports give independence back – allowing your parent to try things in their own time, without always needing to ask.

5. Talk openly about online safety without overwhelm

Concerns about scams are valid, and worries about safety are a key reason many older adults avoid going online. Rather than dismissing these fears, acknowledge them. Then show them how to recognise suspicious messages, encouraging them to check with you before clicking unfamiliar links. Focus on a few key rules rather than a long list – simple, clear guidance helps replace fear with control.

What if my parent still resists using technology?

If progress feels slow, that’s okay. Learning something at any age takes time. But sometimes, despite your best efforts, your parent may still hesitate. And that’s okay, too. Choosing not to engage with technology isn’t always a problem in itself. What matters is:

• They can access the services they need
• They feel connected and supported
• They are safe and confident in their everyday life

Technology is one way to achieve that, but not the only one.

Connection, confidence, and what comes next

When you help your parent to send a message, join a call, or check something online, you’re not just teaching a skill. You’re helping them stay connected – to family, to friends, to a changing world. Often, those small successes can lead to something more. Over time, curiosity can lead to confidence, and confidence can lead to new ways of staying close.

* Digital exclusion: a review of Ofcom's research on digital exclusion among adults in the UK