Work and Caregiving: Helping a Loved One Through Cancer
Caring for a loved one can be incredibly fulfilling, yet also be immensely challenging, especially when you're juggling a full-time job.
Disclaimer: The information below is not intended as medical advice and is only intended to offer points you may wish to consider in 'non-emergency situations', together with signposting for more support. You should consult an appropriate medical professional if you have concerns about your health. Dial 999 in an emergency if someone is in a life-threatening condition.
The emotional and physical demands can be overwhelming, and when and loved one has been diagnosed with cancer, the complexity of caregiving can increase more so.
Talking to your employer
When discussing your situation with your employer, you only have to disclose what you're comfortable with. However, being transparent about your situation can help you arrange flexible working options, such as part-time hours, staggered shifts, remote or hybrid working, or job sharing. The best arrangement will depend on your specific circumstances. Here are some key points to remember when having this conversation:
1. Prepare in advance
This conversation can be emotionally charged, so it's a good idea to prepare your main points in advance. This doesn't mean you need to follow a script, but having a clear idea of what you want to say can help you to communicate more effectively.
2. Choose the right time
Before having a conversation, try and choose a moment when your employer is likely to be more receptive and not consumed by other tasks, so that your conversation is given the attention it deserves.
3. Propose solutions
Your employer will want to know what steps you propose to take. Are you asking for reduced hours? Do you need any physical accommodations? Clearly outline your needs and how they can be met.
4. Follow up
Send a follow-up email summarizing the discussion and any agreed-upon arrangements. This ensures that both you and your employer are on the same page.
Educating yourself
The word "cancer" can be frightening in itself. But gaining a better understanding of your loved one's diagnosis can be helpful for everyone involved. By familiarising yourself with their specific cancer type, treatment options, and potential side effects, you can better comprehend the journey ahead. This knowledge not only empowers you to provide more informed and effective care but also helps you anticipate and manage any changes in your loved one's condition.
Additionally, understanding the specifics of the diagnosis can support you in arranging necessary accommodations at your job. Whether it's discussing flexible working hours, remote work options, or other adjustments, being well-informed allows you to communicate your needs more effectively with your employer. This proactive approach ensures that you can balance your caregiving responsibilities with your professional obligations, ultimately benefiting both you and your loved one during this time.
Setting realistic expectations
Navigating this period in your life requires setting realistic expectations for both your personal and professional responsibilities. Acknowledge that you may not be able to maintain the same pace or level of productivity as before, which may mean projects at work might progress more slowly, and family time could be limited. Try not to be too hard on yourself! This is a significant life change, and it's natural to need time to adjust and find a new balance.
Recognising the need for adjustments can help you manage your stress and avoid feelings of guilt. Try to understand that it's okay to prioritise and delegate tasks and by setting realistic expectations, you can create a more manageable and sustainable routine that accommodates both your caregiving duties and your personal wellbeing.
Seeking support
Being a caregiver for a loved one while managing your career is a huge responsibility that can feel overwhelming at times and it's not uncommon to feel pressure, whether from yourself or others, to handle everything on your own. However, it's important to remember that you don't have to carry this burden alone. Allowing others to help, whether it's another family member or an external support group, can provide much-needed relief and emotional support.
Reaching out for support is not a sign of weakness but a crucial step in maintaining your wellbeing and providing the best care for your loved one. There are several resources available, including counselling services, support groups, and community organisations, that can offer practical assistance and emotional comfort. By seeking support, you can share the load, gain valuable insights from others who understand your situation, and ensure that you are not neglecting your own needs while caring for your loved one.
We signpost you to the following resources for further support:
Looking After Someone with Cancer - Macmillan