Coping with Comparison: How to Stay Confident in the Age of Social Media Parenting

As a parent-to-be, you’re probably swimming in a flood of parenting advice - some helpful, some downright confusing. Whether this is your first baby or you already have little ones, the guidance you get can vary wildly. What worked a few years ago might now be outdated, and unsolicited tips can leave you feeling overwhelmed.

And let’s be real: in today’s digital age, social media is full of parenting opinions, comparisons, and trends, making it tricky to feel confident in your choices. So how do you know if you’re doing the right thing when there’s so much comparison to contend with?

Remember, social media isn’t the whole story

Social media has a way of pulling us in, and when you’re expecting a baby, it’s even more tempting to look for tips, tricks, and relatable stories. But it’s worth remembering: what you see online is just a snapshot. Even when influencers share the “realities” of parenting, you’re only seeing a slice of their day. You don’t know what’s happening behind the scenes, what they’re struggling with, or whether they even follow the advice they’re giving. It’s easy to compare your journey to someone else’s highlight reel, but that’s not the full picture.

Also, remember that they don’t know your situation either. Maybe you’re juggling caregiving responsibilities for a parent, working overtime to prepare for maternity leave, or managing your pregnancy while navigating a demanding job. Your lifestyle, support system, and emotional bandwidth are unique to you.

Your beginning could be someone else’s middle

The posts you’re seeing might be from parents who’ve been through this several times already. They’ve had years to perfect bedtime routines, stockpile parenting hacks, and build confidence through experience. Some may have older children, or perhaps they grew up helping care for younger siblings, giving them a head start in the parenting game. So yes, they might make it look easy, but that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.

You’re at the beginning of your journey, and that’s something to embrace. Even if this isn’t your first child, it’s your first time parenting this baby, and every baby is different. What worked before might not work now, and that’s perfectly normal. Your experience is valid, your pace is right, and your learning curve is uniquely yours.

Engage in real-life conversations

Try to balance screen time with real-life chats, especially while your brain is buzzing with baby prep. It’s not always easy, particularly if you work remotely and most interactions happen through a screen - but even small moments of connection count. Chatting with a neighbour, sharing a laugh with the shopkeeper, or catching up with a friend over coffee can break the cycle of endless scrolling and give your mind a refreshing pause.

These little interactions aren’t just social niceties—they’re grounding. They remind you that not everything has to be filtered or captioned. A genuine face-to-face conversation can offer perspective, reassurance, and even a bit of humour when you need it most.

Trust your instinct

Balancing work and preparing for a baby is already a full-time mental workout. You’re planning for your little one’s arrival, thinking about how your relationship might shift, wondering if your social life will survive, and maybe stressing about your return to work before you’ve even left. And breathe! Now throw in a scroll through social media, where everyone seems to have an opinion on how to parent, and it’s no wonder you feel overwhelmed.

While expert advice can be super helpful, don’t forget: your instincts are powerful. You know yourself, your baby, and your situation better than anyone online. What works for one child might not work for yours. So next time you’re tempted to second-guess yourself because of a perfectly filtered parenting reel, pause and remember - your gut’s got this.

Take control

Social media can sneak into your daily rhythm - scrolling before work, catching up on your lunch break, or unwinding in the evening. It’s a great way to stay connected and soak up advice during pregnancy. But seeing endless posts about “perfect parenting” can be overwhelming. You don’t need to ditch Instagram or TikTok entirely, but setting gentle boundaries can help protect your peace of mind.

Start by curating your feed. On TikTok, stick to your ‘Following’ tab to avoid random rabbit holes. On Instagram, while you can’t disable the ‘Explore’ tab, you can focus on your home feed and unfollow accounts that don’t make you feel good. It might take a little adjusting, but remember - you’re the boss of your scroll.

Sometimes, the best way to cut through comparison is to step away altogether. Give yourself a “social media-free Sunday” or put your phone in another room for an hour in the evening. Those offline moments give your brain space to rest, connect with your own thoughts, and focus on your real-life priorities.