Let’s be honest: AI has well and truly made itself at home, hasn’t it? One minute you’re asking Alexa if it’s going to rain, the next your child’s using ChatGPT for homework, building avatars that talk back, or wondering how YouTube always knows they’re into Minecraft and slime videos.

If you’ve caught yourself thinking, “Should I be worried about this?” or “Am I supposed to be setting rules here?” - you’re not alone. Whether you’ve got a toddler discovering AI companions, a primary schooler asking big questions, or a teen who knows more than you (on this stuff, at least), this guide can help you start the conversation and set some simple, sensible boundaries.

Early years: keep it light, keep it human

Children in their early years are naturally curious. While they might not understand what AI is, they do notice when a Chatbot talks back, or a speaker answers a question.

Here’s what they need to know:

1. It’s a machine, not a person.

You can treat AI like a clever toy: interesting, helpful, but not something that thinks or feels. They're already learning about what's real and what's pretend - this is just another piece of the puzzle.
Try:

• “That voice is from a computer - it’s not real like Mummy. ”
• “This speaker can play music and answer questions, but it doesn’t feel sad or happy like we do.”
• “Do you think it knows when you're feeling happy or sleepy?”

2. People are the best helpers

People, not robots, are the best at cuddles, stories, and helping when something’s tricky. Try phrases like:

• “Alexa is just a helper, not a friend.”
• “Alexa can help us find a song, but if you’ve got a question or want to talk, come to Mummy!”

3. Set gentle boundaries

Rather than letting voice assistants stay on in the background, choose moments to switch them off. Encourage your child to discover the answers to their questions on their own, and that it’s okay not to know something right away - thinking, exploring and asking is part of the fun!

• That’s such a great question - what do you think?”
• “Let’s make a guess first, then we can check together!”
• “Oooh, I don’t know - should we try to find out in a book or a game instead?”

Primary school: encourage awareness and curiosity

As children grow more independent with tech, they begin forming habits. This is a great age to introduce how AI works, and when it doesn’t.

1. Talk about how apps “learn” from them

Most children don’t realise that the things they click, watch or tap are teaching the app what to show them next. It gently introduces the idea that apps and games aren’t neutral - they’re shaped by what we do, and we can make choices about what we want to see more (or less) of.

Try asking:

• “That show popped up again! Do you think it’s guessing what you like?”

• “Netflix remembers what you like so it can show you more of it - but it’s still good to try something new sometimes, right?”

2. Play “real or AI?” together

Play a guessing game with images, stories or videos. This builds early critical thinking and digital awareness, without making it feel serious or scary. It also helps children learn that not everything online is as it seems.

• “Do you think this was made by a person or a computer?”
• “What clues helped you decide?”

3. AI can make mistakes

Sometimes apps or tools get things totally wrong - suggesting strange videos, odd answers, or mismatched images. This is a great opportunity to teach your child to pause, question, and check, instead of believing everything a screen says.

Try:

• “That doesn’t seem quite right - why do you think it guessed that?”
• “Let’s look it up together and see what’s true.”

4. Introduce the idea of personal information

Young children often enter names or birthdays into apps without thinking twice. Gently helping them stop and wonder why can help build safer habits.

Ask:

• “Why do you think this app wants your name or age?”
• “What could it do with that information?”

5. Be the ‘family filter’

When they want to try a new game or app, turn it into a shared moment rather than a flat “yes” or “no.” Explore it together, read the reviews, and decide as a team.

You could say:

• “Let’s check this out together first - what do you like about it?”
• “What should our rule be if something pops up that feels a bit odd?”

Teens: go beyond the basics and talk ethics

Teens are often way ahead of us when it comes to AI, they may already be using it for revision help, content creation, or even experimenting with AI art or music. But that doesn’t mean they always know how to use it wisely.

1. Understanding how much they know or use AI

Get curious, not cautious. Ask:

• “Tried anything cool lately I should know about?”
• “What’s your most/least favourite thing about using AI tools?”

2. Talking about bias and ethics

Help them understand that AI isn’t always fair or neutral, and that matters.

• “Do you think AI gives the same answers to everyone?” Do a small experiment where you ask ChatGPT the same questions, but with a slightly different prompt each time to see how its response changes.
• “Do you think your online experience is different to your friends’? How come?”

• “What’s a topic where AI probably shouldn’t be involved?”

• Find a fake image or headline online and guess together if it’s AI-made - then check it.

3. Schoolwork & integrity

Set boundaries through shared values, not lectures.

• “What do your teachers say about using AI for assignments?”
• “Would it feel fair if someone got top marks just copying from ChatGPT?”
• “Want to agree on a few ‘fair use’ rules - what’s fine to use AI for, and what’s better done by you?”

It’s fine to use AI for inspiration or to get ideas but encourage your child to put everything into their own words and make it truly theirs.

4. Digital wellbeing & balance

Help them tune into how tech use feels , not just what it does.

• “Do you feel more focused or more distracted after using that AI tool or app?”
• “Do you ever feel like you have to use tech to keep up?”
• “Want to set a few mini screen-free goals together this week and see how we feel?”

Family rules to consider - at any age

No matter how old your child is, a few simple rules go a long way:

• “Ask before you use” – especially for new tools or AI features.
• “Use together, learn together” – stay involved in what they’re exploring.
• “Screens off at [insert your family’s time here]” – having a clear switch-off point sets a healthy rhythm.

AI isn’t going anywhere, and that’s okay. This isn’t about banning or avoiding it - it’s about helping your child grow up with a thoughtful, empowered approach to using it.