Helping Children Build Friendships: 6 Practical Tips for Parents

As a parent, you naturally want the best for your child, and that includes helping them build strong, healthy friendships. Just like adults, children thrive on connection. But while some seem to make friends effortlessly, others may find it a little trickier.

If your child struggles socially, it can be tough to watch, especially when you’re juggling a busy career and a never-ending to-do list. Fortunately, supporting your child’s social development doesn’t have to be a full-time job. With a few simple, practical strategies, you can help them build confidence, develop social skills, and form meaningful friendships.

Here are six tips to get you started:

1. It starts with you

Children aren’t born with perfect social skills - it’s something they learn over time, often by watching the adults around them. If your child struggles to make friends, it may simply mean they’re still figuring out how to navigate social situations. That’s where you come in.

As a parent, you can be a powerful role model by showing kindness in everyday interactions. Whether you’re chatting with the postie, catching up with a friend, or making small talk with a shop assistant, your child is watching and learning.

And don’t worry if you’re not naturally outgoing. You don’t need to become a social butterfly overnight. A warm smile, a friendly “hello,” and a bit of casual conversation can go a long way in showing your child how kindness builds connection.

2. Catch up daily

Between school runs, work meetings, and everything else life throws at you, finding time to talk with your child every day can feel like a stretch, especially if they’re not exactly chatty. But those little conversations matter more than you might think. Regular check-ins help you spot signs that your child may be struggling with friendships or social situations.

There could be many reasons behind this. Some children are naturally shy, others may experience social anxiety or behavioural challenges. And some might find it harder to read social cues if they’re neurodivergent, such as having autism or ADHD. Understanding the “why” behind their social challenges allows you to support them in a way that truly works for them.

3. Practise social skills with familiar faces

Having siblings can be like having built-in playmates (minus the occasional squabble over who gets the last biscuit). If your child finds it difficult to make friends, practising social skills with a sibling is a great starting point. They’re already familiar, usually close in age, and (most of the time) comfortable around each other.

If your child is an only child, consider cousins or close family friends with children around the same age. These familiar faces provide a safe space to practise sharing, taking turns, and resolving small disagreements.

Try not to referee every minor squabble (unless it’s really necessary). Letting children work through small conflicts on their own helps them develop problem-solving and communication skills - essential tools for making friends.

4. Celebrate the effort, not just the outcome

When your child makes a kind gesture or has a positive interaction with another child, don’t hold back - be their biggest cheerleader! These small wins are huge steps toward building confidence and developing lasting friendships.

Focus on how they behaved, not how many friends they made. Instead of saying, “Wow, you made loads of friends today!”, try something more meaningful like, “I loved how you included Timmy on the playground, that was really kind.” This reinforces the value of empathy, inclusion, and effort, rather than popularity.

5. Encourage extracurricular activities

Sometimes, the best friendships start outside the classroom. If you can, try getting your child involved in activities beyond school, whether it’s football, dance, drama, or arts and crafts.

It’s not about pushing them into competitive sports or filling every evening with clubs. Even just one hour a week doing something they enjoy can help them come out of their shell and build confidence.

These relaxed, interest-based settings give children a chance to practise social skills in a different environment. Plus, bonding over shared passions often leads to genuine, lasting friendships.

6. Ditch the labels

We’ve all heard it - “She’s just shy” or “He’s not very sociable.” Maybe you’ve even said it yourself. It’s an easy habit to fall into, but labels like these can actually make it harder for children to form friendships.

When we call a child “shy,” we’re defining who they are instead of recognising how they feel in the moment. For example, a child who is hesitant to join a group might simply be feeling nervous or unsure, not destined to always be the “quiet one.” If they begin to believe those labels, they may hold back from reaching out, even when they’re ready to connect.

Instead, try describing what your child is experiencing in a way that validates their feelings without boxing them in. You might say, “You’re feeling a bit nervous about joining the game right now” rather than “You’re too shy to play.” This helps them see that feelings come and go, and that being nervous doesn’t stop them from making friends.

Reframing labels in this way not only supports your child’s self-confidence but also gives them the freedom to grow socially at their own pace, without feeling trapped by a title that doesn’t reflect who they truly are.

7. Have patience

Helping your child make friends isn’t a one-day job. Every child moves at their own pace, and that’s perfectly okay.

If you’re concerned about your child’s social development, start by chatting with their teacher. Teachers often have valuable insights into how your child interacts with others during the school day. If you feel your child needs more support, don’t hesitate to reach out to a behavioural specialist. Professionals can offer tailored guidance, especially if your child is neurodivergent or experiencing challenges such as social anxiety.