One evening, your child comes home from school chatting away about a “new friend” who’s really good at explaining algebra, or who always listens when they’ve had a rough day. You nod along, until they casually mention it’s a chatbot. AI. A computer programme. Suddenly your stomach tightens.

You're not overreacting. This stuff is new, fast-moving, and let’s be honest - a bit weird ..

So, let’s pause the panic. This post isn’t here to alarm you. It’s here to help you take a breath, look at the landscape, and feel more confident asking the right questions.

First things first: What exactly is a chatbot?

In the simplest terms, a chatbot is a computer programme designed to have a conversation with you. Think of it like a very clever search engine that chats back, and learns as it goes. Some are playful and friendly, like AI friends your child can talk to about hobbies or homework. Others are more task-focused, helping with revision or calming anxiety.

These bots are now being built into learning platforms, mental health apps and even social spaces. That means it’s not a question of if your child will encounter a chatbot, but when.

Why children are drawn to AI companions

AI chatbots offer something few adults can match: immediate, non-judgemental, tireless attention.

For little ones, it’s a novelty: “This robot knows my name and can tell me jokes!” For teens, it’s someone (or rather, something) that listens without rolling its eyes, interrupting, or trying to ‘fix’ them.

In a world that’s often loud, fast, and emotionally complex, AI can feel like a safe, controllable space. What makes this tricky is that, to a child, it often feels like they’re talking to someone real.

The potential positives, if used well

1. A bridge, not a replacement

For some children, particularly neurodivergent or socially anxious children, chatbots can offer a low-pressure way to practise conversation, or explore feelings without fear of judgement. These bots don’t replace real therapists or adults, but they can be a helpful tool, especially for teens.

1. Independent learning

Some chatbots are like patient tutors - never bored, never judgemental. They can help children practise spelling, maths, or even try out another language in a low-pressure way.

1. Emotional validation

While not sentient, some bots are programmed to respond empathetically. If a child types “I feel really low today,” the bot might gently suggest coping strategies or encourage them to talk to an adult.

1. Exposure to diverse ideas

Depending on the app, a child might explore philosophical questions, learn about different cultures, or debate ethical dilemmas - all in conversation form.

But let’s talk about the risks, because they matter

1. Emotional over-reliance

Some AI tools are designed to mimic close friendships or even romantic bonds. That’s a red flag. While the tech feels real and human to your child, the relationship is not mutual. A bot can’t love, care, or protect your child.

1. Poor boundaries

Children (and even adults) may struggle to tell where the line is. When a bot talks like a friend, how do we explain that it isn’t one?

1. Content drift and ‘hallucinations’

Chatbots don’t always get it right. Some may share incorrect, confusing, or even inappropriate responses, especially if they’re not properly filtered or monitored.

1. Data and digital footprints

What’s being stored? Where is it going? If your child tells an AI something personal, there’s a good chance it’s being logged somewhere, even if anonymised.

1. Language and tone mimicry.

AI learns from everything it reads, including online forums and conversations with users. It can sometimes adopt slang, sarcasm, or even problematic and biased views without warning.

So… how do we help our children use AI wisely?

Here’s the heart of it: we don’t need to block it - we need to walk with them through it. Here are some practical strategies:

Choose reputable apps with transparency
Look for ones that clearly state how they handle data and are aimed at your child’s age group. Avoid anything vague or overly general. Check out Common Sense Media , which offers age-based reviews and safety ratings, or ask your child’s school if they have any AI tools they recommend.

Co-pilot the conversation

Be curious. Sit alongside your child when they first use the chatbot. Ask what they’re talking about and what they think of the responses. Ask them:

• “Do you think the chatbot really understands you?”
• “How would you know if it gave you wrong information?”
• “Would you be OK if a teacher read this chat?”

Set boundaries together

Agree on when and why your child can use chatbots. For example:

• “It’s OK to ask about homework.”
• “It’s not OK to talk about relationships, sex, or private feelings unless we agree it’s safe.”
• “We talk to humans when something worries us, not just a bot.”

Use it to spark real-life conversations

A chatbot might “remember” your child’s name, but it doesn’t care. It doesn’t notice their tone of voice. It won’t show up when your child’s world is falling apart.

If your child shares something deep with an AI, it’s worth asking gently, “Would you feel comfortable talking to me about that too?”

Keep reminding them, gently and often, what connection with real people looks and feels like. They’re still learning.

Check in regularly

AI tools evolve quickly. What’s safe now might change. Keep tabs on updates, reviews, and most importantly, your child’s feelings about it.

In the end…

AI companions are not monsters. They’re not miracle workers either. They’re tools, and like any tool, they can be helpful, or harmful, depending on how they’re used.

As parents, we don’t have to become AI experts overnight. But we can offer something no chatbot ever will: warmth, curiosity, accountability, and unconditional love.

So, the next time your child mentions their “chatbot friend”, take a deep breath, smile, and say: “Oh really? What did you two talk about today?”