Real Life Stories: The Truth About Balancing Shift Work and Solo Parenting

Lily works in the police control room as a radio operator, where she plays a vital role in assessing risk and dispatching officers to incidents across the force. Outside of her fast-paced, full-time role, she’s also a devoted single mum to her 7-year-old son and currently lives with her own mum. In this article, Lily opens up about how she balances the demands of her career with the joys and challenges of parenting.

Navigating the rewards and realities of working parenthood

Being a working mum is so rewarding, but that’s not to say it isn’t tough. The biggest obstacle for me personally is the guilt that comes with it, especially with my line of work. I work shifts which are six days on (two earlies, two lates and two night shifts), followed by four days off. The unorthodox schedule means that I often work antisocial hours, evenings and weekends - time that other working parents might have off with their children. This can often mean missing out on family events and finding time to hang out with friends who aren’t also parents and work more conventional hours. 

I also rely on family for childcare during these shifts, which adds another layer of guilt to the mix. Fortunately, I have an amazing family that has always been supportive of the job I do, and accommodating with the childcare required for me to actually do my role, but that doesn’t stop me from feeling bad about the time away from my son, and the dependency on others to look after him! I knew what the difficulties would be working the job I do, but the pride both myself and my son feel, knowing that I am helping people definitely makes things easier. 

The best parts?

One of the greatest feelings for me is as soon as I step through the front door, knowing that work has been left at work and I can be present from the moment I’m back with my boy. As soon as we say hello to each other, it instantly warms me up. Of course, there have been times when certain jobs I have dealt with play on my mind, but generally speaking, I am pretty good at compartmentalising, which helps me switch between the roles. I think with the job I do, I’m always thinking of my son. Who is going to pick him up from school while I’m at work? Is he going to go to bed okay without me there? Amongst other things, so even when I’m focusing on work, I’m always checking in to make sure he is okay. 

I just love being with him. It doesn’t really matter what we are doing; I just feel a sense of contentment when we are together. He is a very active child, and that keeps me on my toes and always wanting to be out and about doing things. But honestly, there is nothing better than the two of us just chilling, or better yet, having the music blasting and having a dance party together. 

Finding time for me

For me, as a working mum, it’s important to find a balance between chilling out and decompressing but making sure I move my body e.g. going for a walk or going to the gym. I do a lot of sitting when I’m at work, and I think if I didn’t try and prioritise my physical health then that would have a big impact on my mental health. 

My top tips for working parents

As I say, make sure you have time for you as well. I’m a mum first, then I’m full-time employed. Fortunately, with the shifts I do have some weekdays off when my son is at school and I can catch up on that TV show I wanted to watch or do whatever it is that I wanted without having to run it past anyone. It’s important to me to make sure I still have a life outside of being a mum and having a career. 

Also, talk about the challenges. If I’m struggling with the shifts, or the mum guilt, talking to family and friends is a really big help.