8 Tips for Preparing Your Child Going to University
When your child flies the nest to go to university, it’s a time filled with mixed emotions. But with the excitement of leaving home for the first time, sometimes the effect that your child moving out can have on you as a parent, is overlooked. Moving away can be hard for both sides but to make the transition easier, taking some time to prepare for the big day can help.
Take a look at our eight top tips…
- Create a List of Essentials Early
One of the biggest stresses about heading off for university is making sure your teen has everything they need before they leave (and preferably, avoiding any last-minute panic). Doing the initial ‘essentials shop’ together and creating a checklist as soon as possible can help put your minds at ease. This can also help to initiate your emotional processing of them leaving.
As obvious as it may sound, grouping items by room can help make buying (and remembering to pack items) a whole lot easier. For a visual reminder of how you’re progressing, stick your list/s to the fridge and tick them off as you go. Alternatively, create a digital list that both you and your child can access and edit as you go.
- Pack a Survival Kit
For many teens leaving home, the idea of losing the safety net of a parent who does their washing or food shopping can be scary. As they learn the ropes of their newfound independence and responsibility, it’s likely they’ll slip up at some point whether it's financial planning or forgetting what time their local shop closes! So, when packing, grab a selection of food that can be stored for a while (noodles, tins, dry goods), as well as basic medicines and toiletries, in case of emergencies.
- Set a Budget Before They Leave
Student loans can be an amazing tool for burgeoning young adults, if considered carefully and used wisely. However, having a large sum of money put into their bank account could tempt some into splurging on what they may consider ‘essentials’ such as new tech, clothing, or nights out - leading to sticky financial situations later on.
Before your prospective student leaves, sit down with them and create a budget that factors in rent, phone bills and a few trips home (in case homesickness sets in). Split the remainder for food, nights out and savings - a little bit of money each week will help them to visit friends or go on holiday.
- Signpost Them to Support
For all the enjoyment university can bring, new experiences can also mean potential new dangers for your teen to encounter. Universities offer help and support in a variety of different areas. From mental and physical health to finance, accommodation, and careers - there's pretty much an advisor for everything. While the services are advertised, it's important to make your child aware of them and let them know how resourceful they can be.
This is not to say you’re cutting them off from your parental advice, but a big part of your teen leaving home is gaining the freedom and responsibility to sort issues out independently. It may also be that they’d benefit from (or prefer) talking to a neutral third party.
- Lessons for Life
Learning basic life skills can be super helpful for teens once they arrive at university. Some of these include doing the laundry, cooking, and changing their bedding as previously mentioned. Clothing is hugely important for many students - it's used to define who they are, express themselves, and most importantly, make them feel good, so knowing the ins and outs of laundry is a skill they need.
In the lead up to your teen leaving, get them to join you in the kitchen to cook some meals together. Teaching them simple and healthy recipes in the comfort of their own home will set them up nicely for looking after themselves. Don’t forget to let them know about the hazard of cross-contamination, uncooked chicken, and some food-freezing hacks! You can do the same with the rest of the household chores, training them for when they’re on their ace.
- Keep in Touch
Life at Uni can be hectic, especially in the first year. Studies, work, socialising and sports clubs can take up every spare second when your teen first hits the scene, so don't be offended if they aren’t ringing you every day or responding to your texts right away. It’s not that they don’t want to speak to you, they’ve just got a lot going on.
What you can do is arrange a date and time for regular calls and catch-ups before they leave. Nobody wants to admit it but a phone call from your mum or dad can do wonders. It's also a great way to stop homesickness from hindering their studies and social lives.
- Let Your Child Know You're There for Them
Your teen may technically be an adult now, but being out in the big wide world for the first time can be an anxiety-inducing prospect at any age.
Studies have shown that having the support of a parent when needed makes for better grades*, so whether it's a phone call, text or surprise trip for dinner, make yourself available for your teen if you know they’re having a rocky go of things.
- Be Positive!
Whether your teen lets on or not, flying the nest for the first time might be weighing on their mind. Not only will they be on their own for the first time in a new place, but the next three or four years could also decide their future career and lifelong relationships.
For their benefit, you might have to compartmentalise your own feelings about this new chapter and embrace the experience with a calm, confident and enthusiastic outlook for your university student-to-be. Your stability can make the transition easier for your child - knowing that you're fully behind it and them.
* Does Parent Involvement Really Help Students? Here's What the Research Says (edweek.org)
