The Art of Asking the Right Questions (Without Getting One-Word Answers)

You: “How was school?”

Teen: “Good.”

You: “Everything okay?”

Teen: “Fine.”

And... scene.

Sound familiar? While your heart’s in the right place, getting a real conversation going with your teenager can feel like trying to crack a secret code. After a long day, it’s tempting to hit autopilot, asking the same questions at the dinner table and getting the same predictable answers. But if you want to go beyond the “good” and “fine” routine, it’s time to mix things up a bit.

In this article, we’re sharing easy, low-effort ways to spark meaningful conversations with your teen and get them opening up - on their terms.

Model healthy communication

Before you start firing off questions, take a moment to reflect on how communication looks in your home. Your teen might roll their eyes, but they’re watching you more than you think. Whether they admit it or not, your communication style is rubbing off on them, so it’s worth making sure it’s a good one!

Modelling healthy communication can be as simple as saying sorry when it’s needed (even if it stings a little), sharing your own feelings, where appropriate, and showing that it’s okay to be vulnerable. We dive deeper into this in our previous article Unfiltered Parenting: When to Let Your Teen See You Struggle.

Top tip? Confess a cringe-worthy teen moment of your own. Instant relatability. Plus, it reminds them that adults weren’t always perfect (shocking, I know).

Questions that go beyond “How was school?”

The magic trick? Open-ended questions. Even if your teen’s reply is still short, they see your effort, and that’s a win.

It’s not just what you ask - it’s how you ask it. Swap yes-or-no questions for prompts that invite reflection, storytelling, or opinions. Curiosity and empathy go a long way.

Here are some conversation starters that might actually get you more than one-word replies:

• What was the best part of your day?
• Did anything make you laugh today?
• What was something unexpected that happened?
• Who did you spend time with today?
• Did you notice anyone feeling left out or upset?
• How did you feel during lunch?
• What’s something new you learned today?
• Was there a topic that really caught your interest?
• If you could teach me one thing from today, what would it be?
• What was the most challenging part of your day?
• Did you solve any problems or overcome something tricky?
• Is there anything you wish had gone differently?
• If you could redesign one class, what would you change?
• What would you do if you were the teacher for a day?
• What are you looking forward to tomorrow?
• Is there anything you’re nervous or unsure about?
• What’s something you think adults don’t understand about being a teen?
• What do you think makes a good friend?

Play “The expert”

Sometimes teens love nothing more than proving they know stuff. Ask them to teach you something they’re good at, whether it’s a TikTok trick, a meme explanation, or a video game hack. Warning: this may result in you feeling extremely uncool, but it’s worth it for the bonding points.

Ditch the dinner table interrogation

Teens hate feeling grilled. Consider chatting while doing something together - driving, cooking, walking the dog. Weirdly, it’s easier for them to open up when you’re side-by-side rather than nose-to-nose.

Knowing when to step back

Wanting deeper chats is natural - you care, and you’re curious about your teen’s world. But real talk? Teens, like adults, need emotional space. They might not always be ready to spill their guts, especially on sensitive stuff.

Instead of pushing or prying, create a calm, non-judgmental vibe. Let them know you’re there, no pressure, no expectations - just a safe space for them to turn to when they’re ready.

Respecting boundaries builds trust. When teens feel understood (not interrogated), they’re more likely to come to you when it really matters. Over time, this strengthens your bond and boosts their emotional resilience.

Remember - it's not you

One-word replies, a little distance… it’s all par for the teenage course. And yes, it’s normal. Feeling a bit of guilt is natural too - “Am I doing enough?” But the fact that you care and want to connect already speaks volumes.

Teens are navigating a whirlwind of feelings, identity shifts, and hormonal chaos, all while trying to figure out life. So, if your chats feel more like interrogations than conversations, don’t panic - this phase will pass. And who knows? One day soon, they might just surprise you by asking you how your day was.

Sometimes, just being in the same room, scrolling your own phones together, is enough. Teens notice presence more than words. Bonus: no one has to answer a question they don’t want to.

Still worried about their mental health? It’s always okay to reach out. Trusted resources include:

Mind - the mental health charity

Young Minds - mental health support for young people

Papyrus - a service for young people who are thinking about suicide, or those with concerns about others. Support line: 0800 068 4141