Change. Why is it so hard?
There's comfort in familiarity; we like control, order, predictability, certainty. Neuroscience informs us that our brains are wired for this, preferring the well-trodden and more established neural pathways.
We have recently lived through uniquely unsettling times. This has been a sudden change thrust upon us, traumatic change in many respects. No time for planning. No period to review and check-in, just keep on keeping on.
Never mind the pandemic, we're living through social change movements like #MeToo and #BlackLivesMatter and our response to the climate emergency. We are in a state of flux. People are resistant, nervous, exhausted. The challenges of managing change in this context are amplified.
So, what can we do about it?
As a coach, I prefer to look at what we can practice, rather than what we can do. When we practice something, we take our time and build our response, we notice what's helpful and what isn't. We resist knee-jerk action or re-action.
Here are three practices in handling the impact of change and uncertainty:
Practice No. 1: Control What You Can
There are many things that happen during times of change and transition that are beyond our control. We can't control the behaviour of the virus, our governments, leaders, our family, or neighbours. Many coachees tell me their challenge is not knowing the timescale of change. In times of crisis, our brain wants to focus on the ways our lives seem to be spinning out of control and so our thinking becomes super keen to get some control.
Ask yourself:
Action:
Practice No. 2: Maintain Positive Connection with Others
As we adjust to new ways of working and the advent of more permanent working from home and hybrid models it's more important than ever to maintain healthy connections and relationships. Values shift as we respond to changing circumstances and staying connected, sharing experiences with others, is the glue. It's also important to disconnect ourselves from unnecessary negativity. Social media and accessing news may feel like connection but might not be good for us.
Ask yourself:
Action:
Practice No. 3: Take Your Time...& Reflect
In a recent coaching session, someone offered me this - I like to take the time to know my emotions and thought patterns and work with these first. That's self-knowledge and awareness right there! Taking time to focus on what's important to us, what anchors us and also allowing time to reflect is an on-going practice, not a one-off.
Ask yourself:
Action:
Even though these times probably feel like the most all-encompassing change we have experienced - blasting into our work, home, and social lives - it won't be the last.
We may as well get practising...