Navigating Microaggressions in the Workplace

For LGBTQIA+ colleagues and other communities, navigating daily interactions at work can still mean managing subtle – and sometimes not-so-subtle – comments that quietly chip away at their sense of belonging and self. These moments are known as microaggressions. They can be hard to spot, even harder to address, and often leave the recipient feeling isolated or unsure.

Here we will look at what microaggressions are, how to handle them, and – most importantly – how to support yourself and others through these experiences.

What is a microaggression?

A microaggression is a subtle, often unintentional comment or action that conveys bias or stereotypes toward a marginalised group. This could be gender identity, age, race, ethnicity, religion, sex, disability, sexual orientation and others. Microaggressions can show up in everyday conversations or behaviours that may not seem overtly harmful but still cause discomfort or exclusion.

Here are some examples of microaggressions employees can face at work:

• “You don’t look gay!”
• “Do you have a real name?” (toward a trans or nonbinary colleague)
• “I don’t care what you do behind closed doors!”
• Consistently using the wrong pronouns or names, even after being corrected.
• Assuming someone’s partner is a different gender or repeatedly avoiding inclusive language like “partner” or “they/them.”
• “Where are you really from?”
• “You don’t sound like you’re from ___!”
• “You’re really confident, for a woman.”

While these comments may be passed off as jokes, innocent curiosity or even made to sound like a compliment, they can be exhausting to deal with—especially when they happen repeatedly.

Identifying microaggressions and how to respond

The tricky thing about microaggressions is that they often come masked in “good intentions.” But impact always outweighs intent. If something makes you feel uncomfortable, invalidated, or disrespected, it’s worth acknowledging.

Here’s what you can do in the moment:

• Pause and breathe. Give yourself space to assess your feelings.
• Decide if you want to respond. You don’t owe anyone an explanation if you’re not ready. Your psychological safety and comfort come first.

If you do want to address it, try phrases like:

“Hey, I know you may not have meant it that way, but that comment was a bit hurtful.”

“Can I share how that made me feel?”

“Just a heads up – using the correct pronouns is really important to me.”

Sometimes, the best way to respond is calmly and clearly. Other times, it’s okay to walk away and take a breather. Trust your instincts.

Advocating for yourself

Speaking up can be intimidating—especially if you feel like you’re a lone voice in the room. But remember, although it’s not up to you alone to educate others – your voice matters.

Use “I” statements to express your experience. “I felt uncomfortable when my partner was assumed to be a different gender,” can be more effective than accusations.

Set boundaries. If a coworker consistently makes comments about your identity, it’s okay to say, “I’d prefer not to talk about my personal life at work.”

If microaggressions are frequent, write them down. It can help if you later decide to bring it up with HR or your line manager.

Calling in vs. calling out when addressing microaggressions

Calling out is direct and public. It might sound like: “That comment was inappropriate.” Calling in is more private and compassionate. It could be: “Can I talk to you about something you said earlier?” Both have their place. If someone is repeatedly harming others, a call-out might be necessary. But if you think they’re open to learning, a call-in can create space for growth. You get to decide which feels right.

Seeking support from allies or your manager

• Talking to another colleague you feel comfortable with can sometimes help.
• Identify allies. Look for colleagues who have shown support for such issues or who are active in community groups (ERGs). A quick check-in with a trusted ally can go a long way.
• If you feel comfortable doing so, let your manager know what happened. Microaggression can impact team culture.
• Utilise community groups and ERGs. Most organisations have spaces where these conversations are welcomed and supported. If not, raise the idea of starting one!

Creating change beyond your personal experience?

• Offer feedback - If your company provides anonymous feedback mechanisms, use them.
• Educate - Share resources or articles that explain why inclusive language matters.
• Be visible - If you’re comfortable, speaking up can help others feel empowered to do the same.
• Advocacy doesn’t always have to be loud - Quiet, consistent action can be just as powerful.

Protecting your wellbeing: top tips

• It’s okay to feel tired, frustrated, or angry. These are valid responses to repeated invalidation.
• Find your people. Whether it’s friends, an online community, or a therapist – stay connected with those who affirm you.
• Unplug when needed. It’s okay to step back from emotional labour. You don’t need to educate every person.
• Celebrate your identity. Take pride in who you are – and remind yourself that you belong here.

Final thoughts

Microaggressions may be “micro” in name, but their impact can be deep. Navigating them as an LGBTQIA+ employee takes strength, self-awareness, and often, community.

You’re not alone—and you don’t have to tolerate exclusion in the name of politeness. Every person deserves a workplace where they are respected, affirmed, empowered to thrive and feel like they belong.