Sharing Your Identity at Work: When, How, and If You Want To

Sharing Your Identity at Work: When, How, and If You Want To

In today’s increasingly diverse and connected workplaces, bringing your whole self to work is often encouraged - but what does that really mean? For many, identity can be layered, personal, and not always something you wear on your sleeve. Knowing whether, when, and how to share parts of yourself, especially aspects that aren't immediately visible, can feel like a big decision. 

This article offers some guidance for anyone navigating that space between authenticity and privacy, with practical advice on making the choice that feels right for you. 

You don’t owe anyone an explanation 

First and foremost: sharing your identity at work is your choice. There’s no timeline, rulebook, or obligation. Whether you feel ready on day one, after six months, or perhaps never, your identity is yours to hold, share, or protect - and whatever choice you make, it’s valid. 

The idea of “being out” or open about personal aspects of your identity can look different for everyone. For some, it’s a casual mention during a coffee chat. For others, it might mean staying quiet until a genuine sense of safety or belonging develops. And some prefer to keep their work and personal lives separate entirely. All of these are more than okay. 

Do some honest reflection 

Rather than jumping to act, it can help to first reflect on how you're feeling, without judgment or urgency. This isn’t about whether you should share your identity at work, or whether you owe visibility to others. It’s simply about tuning into where you’re at right now, and what you need to feel safe and supported. 

You might want to ask yourself: 

  • Do I feel emotionally safe in my team and workplace? 
  • Are there people here I trust with more personal parts of my life? 
  • What would help me feel more confident, secure, or seen at work - whether I choose to share or not? 
  • What are my boundaries, and how can I honour them while still feeling authentic? 

It’s not about reaching a definitive answer, but about knowing you have permission to take your time, listen to yourself, and move at your own pace.

Check the climate 

Before sharing more about yourself, it can help to observe your surroundings. Do people from different backgrounds feel empowered to speak up? Do leaders model inclusive behaviour? Are there policies that support diversity, cultural inclusivity and respect? 

This isn’t about being suspicious - it’s about protecting your peace. Feeling confident in your environment makes it easier to be open if, when and how you choose. 

Check if your company has: 

  • An active inclusion or employee resource group (ERG) 
  • HR policies that protect against discrimination 
  • Training sessions on unconscious bias or allyship 
  • Managers who model inclusive behaviours in meetings 
  • Other employees that feel confident to show up authentically 

Start where you're comfortable 

Opening up doesn’t have to be a grand announcement. It can be a conversation with one trusted colleague, a note in a wellbeing check-in, or adding a sticker to your laptop. The pace and approach are entirely yours. Some people ease in gradually. Others are direct. There’s no right way—only the way that feels aligned with your values and comfort level. 

Examples of soft ways to share: 

  • Mentioning weekend plans that include a partner or friend group 
  • Adding your pronouns to your email signature or LinkedIn profile 
  • Reacting positively to a colleague’s comment on diversity or representation 
  • Wearing a pin, accessory, or lanyard that signals your values 

These are small gestures that can help others see elements of your identity, without any pressure. 

Find safe spaces 

Many workplaces now have inclusion groups, employee networks, or wellbeing resources. These spaces can offer a soft landing - a place to connect with others who understand the nuance of sharing personal stories in professional environments. If your workplace offers something like this, it might be worth exploring. These spaces are often not just for support, but for learning, empowerment, and sometimes, simply being around others who just get it. 

If your workplace doesn’t offer one yet, and you feel safe enough to do so, you might consider suggesting or creating such a space. 

What if you're in a leadership position? 

If you’re a team lead or manager, your decision to share or not can impact others more than you might realise. Visibility matters, but only if it feels right for you. 

You can lead by example through inclusive language, openly supporting employee networks, and making space for identity-based discussions, even if you choose not to disclose personal details. 

Navigating tough moments 

Even in supportive environments, you might encounter awkwardness, assumptions, or unintentional microaggressions once you decide to come out. 

Having a few phrases prepared can help: 

  • “I prefer not to get into that right now.” 
  • “I’ve had different experiences with ----.” 
  • “I appreciate your interest, but that’s personal for me.” 

If something feels more serious, lean on HR or your company’s wellbeing team for support. 

What if you decide not to? 

That’s okay too. Your identity is yours to hold, protect, and share as you choose. Choosing not to share doesn’t make you any less authentic - it means you’re exercising your right to privacy. 

What matters most is that you’re able to do your best work in an environment where you feel safe, respected, and supported. Whether or not you share parts of yourself is secondary to your wellbeing and your right to set boundaries.