8 Ways to Help Your Child Grow Through Failure
As working parents, we wear many hats—provider, nurturer, and problem-solver, to name a few. We want our children to feel secure, happy, and successful. But sometimes, it’s through their little failures that they grow the most.
Whether it’s a tower of blocks that keep tumbling down or a shoe they’re struggling to put on, failure is a part of life, even in the early years. These small moments are big opportunities to help your child develop resilience, confidence, and emotional wellbeing. Here’s how you can gently guide them through these moments while juggling your busy schedule.
1. Show Them That Failure is Normal
As adults, we know mistakes happen all the time. Children, however, are just learning to navigate the world and may feel like failing is the end of the story. One of the most powerful things you can do is normalise their experiences.
For example, the next time your toddler struggles to fit a puzzle piece and throws it down in frustration, try to take a deep breath and tell them: “It’s okay! Everyone finds things tricky sometimes. Let’s look at it together and see if we can find another way.”
You might even share a simple story from your day: “Mummy tried a new recipe today, and it didn’t turn out right. But I’ll try again next time!”
Hearing that even grown-ups make mistakes helps your child understand that failure is just part of learning.
2. Celebrate Effort, Not Just Success
As working parents, it’s tempting to rush in and fix things to save time—but resisting this urge can be key. When your child tries to put on their shoes and gets frustrated, praise their effort rather than stepping in too soon. Say things like, “Wow, you worked so hard on that! I’m proud of you for not giving up. Let’s keep practising together.”
By focusing on the process rather than the outcome, you’re teaching them that persistence matters more than getting it right the first time.
3. Create Safe Spaces for Mistakes
Whether it’s at home or during nursery drop-off, creating an environment where it’s okay to mess up helps children feel secure enough to take risks. Celebrate their attempts, even when things don’t go as planned. When something goes wrong, you can reframe it as an exciting moment of discovery. This approach turns failure into a positive experience and helps diffuse frustration.
For instance, during playtime, let your child experiment with stacking or mixing colours without stepping in to correct them.
Imagine your preschooler spills their cup of milk while trying to pour it. Instead of jumping in with a sigh, you might smile and say: “Oops! Look at that puddle! Let’s grab a towel together. Next time, we’ll pour slower—this is how we learn!”
By involving them in the clean-up and pointing out the lesson, you’re showing that mistakes aren’t something to fear—they’re just part of the journey. These small moments can help to build resilience and independence.
4. Help Them Name Their Feelings
Failure can feel overwhelming for little ones who are still learning how to manage big emotions. Helping them name their feelings is like handing them a map to navigate those emotions.
When your child’s block tower collapses and they burst into tears, try kneeling beside them and saying: “It looks like you’re feeling really frustrated right now. I get it—that was hard work.”
Once they feel heard, they’re more likely to calm down and try again. You can even add: “You know, frustration means you’re trying something tricky—and that’s how we get better!”
5. Use Stories to Build Resilience
Children love stories, and they’re a wonderful way to show that challenges can lead to growth. Choose bedtime tales where characters face setbacks and keep going. For instance, The Little Engine That Could teaches perseverance, while stories about animals learning new skills can resonate with younger children.
After the story, you might say: “Just like the Little Engine, you kept trying today when you were building that tall tower. That was amazing!”
This quiet, end-of-day moment strengthens their understanding of resilience and gives you both a chance to connect after a long day.
6. Model Resilience in Your Own Life
Working parents are often navigating their own challenges. When your child sees you calmly handle a tough day or laugh off a mistake, they learn that it’s possible to bounce back.
If you spill coffee on your work clothes during the morning rush, say: “Whoops! That didn’t go as planned, but I’ll clean it up and we’ll still have a great day!”
This shows your child that mistakes are part of life and nothing to be ashamed of.
7. Create Low-Stress Opportunities to Try
As busy parents, it’s tempting to step in and do things for our children to save time. But giving them space to try things themselves—without fear of consequences—builds confidence.
At home, let them experiment with small tasks, like spreading butter on toast or watering the plants. If it doesn’t go perfectly, resist the urge to fix it immediately. Instead, say:
“You had a good go at that—what do you think we could do differently next time?”
These low-pressure moments give them the freedom to learn without the fear of failing.
8. Celebrate the Comeback
Every time your child tries again after a failure, it’s a win worth celebrating. Whether they finally stack the blocks without them falling or manage to zip up their coat after multiple tries, acknowledge their persistence with warmth and enthusiasm.
You might say: “Wow, you kept going even when it was hard!” Adding a big hug or high-five reinforces the joy of pushing through challenges.
Final Thoughts
Supporting your child through failure doesn’t mean protecting them from it—it’s about being by their side, offering encouragement, and helping them see mistakes as valuable stepping stones to success.
As a working parent, it can be challenging to pause and fully embrace these moments but remember: the lessons your child absorbs today will shape their future. These small steps don’t require perfection—they just require presence. Together, you and your child can embrace the beauty of trying, learning, and growing.
