Loneliness in the Workplace: What Every Manager Should Watch For

Loneliness in the Workplace: What Every Manager Should Watch For

Being a people manager means wearing a lot of hats. You’re keeping your own to-do list in check, making sure your team isn’t drowning in theirs, and somehow still finding time to be a cheerleader, coach, and sounding board. It’s a balancing act to stay tuned in without overstepping.

But here’s something that often flies under the radar: loneliness. It’s not just something older people experience. In fact, young adults aged 16 to 29 are more than twice as likely to say they feel lonely often or always compared to those over 70.* Yet people aren’t always transparent about their feelings, especially at work.

Here’s how to spot if a team member might be feeling lonely and what you can do to support them.

1. Disengagement can be a clue

If a usually chatty team member suddenly goes quiet or seems disconnected from their work or colleagues, it might be more than just a bad day - it could be a sign of workplace loneliness. Of course, not everyone is a social butterfly; some people genuinely prefer to keep their heads down and crack on, and that’s totally fine.

But as a manager, you know your team best. If someone who normally enjoys being part of the buzz starts pulling away, this could be their way of saying something’s wrong. A little curiosity and care can go a long way in helping them feel seen and supported.

Conversation starter:
"I’ve noticed you seem a bit quieter than usual lately. How are you feeling about work and the team?"
Or
"I want to make sure you feel connected - how’s everything going from your perspective?"

2. Tasks start slipping through the cracks

We all have moments where we forget to reply to an email or misplace a to-do list. But if a team member consistently misses deadlines, struggles to prioritise, or forgets tasks you’ve already discussed, it could be more than a busy schedule.

Loneliness can quietly affect focus and productivity, making it harder for someone to stay organised or retain information. You might notice that even helpful suggestions seem to vanish into thin air, like they’ve got a mental sieve instead of a sponge.

Conversation starter:
"I noticed a few deadlines have been tricky to hit recently. Is there anything I can do to make your workload more manageable?"
Or
"I want to support you - are there any obstacles or distractions getting in the way right now?"

3. Becoming snappy and short-tempered

When a usually calm and collected colleague starts snapping or showing passive-aggressive behaviour, it could be a sign that something deeper is going on. People who feel isolated may struggle with sadness or resentment, and that emotional weight can show up in unexpected ways, like short tempers or defensive reactions. Someone who feels disconnected might start to see others as untrustworthy or fear further rejection, especially if they already feel left out.

Conversation starter:
"I sensed some frustration in our last chat. I want to make sure you feel supported - what’s been on your mind lately?"

4. Skipping meetings

When someone starts dodging catch-ups, turning down invites, or “forgetting” to join, it’s worth paying attention. Especially in remote teams, meetings are often the main chance to connect, and avoiding them could signal that someone feels isolated or overwhelmed by social interaction.

Even when they do show up, the signs can still be there: camera off, mic muted, and zero participation. It’s not always about shyness. Sometimes, it’s about not feeling safe or seen. Loneliness can make people hesitant to engage, unsure of how they’ll be received.

Conversation starter:
"I’ve noticed you’ve missed a few catch-ups. Is there anything making it difficult for you to join?"
Or
"I want to make sure these meetings are useful and comfortable - how are you finding them lately?"

5. A shift in style

Not every change in appearance is cause for concern - sometimes it’s just a new haircut or a bold fashion phase! But when someone starts showing up noticeably unkempt, or their workspace becomes unusually cluttered, it might be a sign that something’s off.

A sudden shift from polished to dishevelled can be a subtle clue that they’re struggling emotionally, and loneliness could be part of the picture. Changes might be gradual, but when grooming habits slip or their usual spark seems dimmed, it’s worth checking in. Loneliness can affect motivation and self-care, and while it’s not the only reason someone might look a little less put-together, it’s often a sign they’re carrying more than just a heavy workload.

Conversation starter:
"I just wanted to check in - how are you doing both at work and outside of it?"
Or
"It seems like you’ve had a lot on your plate recently - do you want to talk about how things have been going?"

How managers can help

Now that you’re familiar with the signs of loneliness in the workplace, let’s talk about what you can actually do to support your team.

 1. Prevention is better than cure

You can’t always stop loneliness before it starts - team changes, shifting schedules, and personal life events can’t always be controlled - but you can build a foundation that reduces risk.

Maintain consistent team structures where possible. When change is unavoidable, focus on what you can control: respect your team as individuals, play to their strengths, communicate clearly, and advocate for them during organisational shifts. A stable, well-supported team is less likely to feel disconnected.

Conversation starter:
"I want to make sure our team feels supported. Is there anything we can do differently to help everyone feel more connected?"

2. Create a safe environment

Conflict and clashing personalities are part of any workplace, but they can contribute to isolation if not handled carefully. Your role isn’t to eliminate disagreements; it’s to create a space where everyone feels safe to speak up, share ideas, and express concerns without fear of judgement.

Conversation starter:
"I want to make sure you feel comfortable sharing your ideas and concerns. How can I make this space safer for you?"
Or
"Are there any barriers that make it hard to speak up in meetings or projects?"

3. Introduce a buddy system (and not just for newbies)

Buddy systems aren’t just for onboarding - they’re a great way to build cross-team relationships and help employees feel more connected. Pairing team members with a colleague from another team for casual chats or shared projects can gently reintroduce social interaction. Small steps can lead to big improvements in confidence and belonging.

Conversation starter:
"Would you be interested in pairing up with a colleague for casual check-ins or shared projects? It could be a nice way to connect."

4. Tackle remote work loneliness

Remote and hybrid working offer flexibility, but they can make forming meaningful connections harder. Just because your team chats on video calls doesn’t mean they’re building strong relationships.

While you may not be able to change your company’s working model, you can acknowledge the emotional impact and offer support. Regular check-ins, virtual coffee chats, and occasional in-person meetups can help bridge the gap and make remote workers feel more included.

Conversation starter:
"I know remote work can feel isolating. How have you been feeling about staying connected with the team?"

*Younger Brits report higher levels of loneliness | Campaign to End Loneliness