How To Give Your Teen Space While Staying Emotionally Available

Parenting teenagers can often feel like walking a tightrope - balancing their growing need for independence with your instinct to stay close and supportive. And as a working parent, the challenge can become even bigger as you strive to juggle your career with being as present as you can be for your child. This article explores how to strike that delicate balance, ensuring your presence is felt, without being overbearing.

Alternative Ways of Communication

It can be challenging when your teen suddenly goes from being an affectionate child to wanting more space, seemingly overnight! And the moments you once shared, and cherished, in between work and school, such as catching up in the evenings, or enjoying weekends together, for example, may now feel more distant. While this change can be difficult for you as a parent, it's important to remember that this is typically a normal part of teen development, and this shift is a natural part of their journey toward growing up.

One way to bridge this gap and remain emotionally available while giving your teen the space they need is by using technology. Sending a simple text message to check in on them, while you’re apart can be a great way to stay connected and help maintain your relationship during this transition. This way should your teen face hurdles, they know they can reach out to you through a means they are familiar with and comfortable using.

Show Your Teen You’re Thinking of Them

Small acts of kindness can show your teen that, despite your busy schedule and potentially spending less time together, they are always on your mind and remain a priority. For example, when you next get a chance to visit the shops, why not consider picking up something you know your teen might appreciate? These gestures don't always have to be materialistic. Something else you could do is send them a funny video clip that reminds you of them. By showing that you care in both big and small ways, you reinforce your support, which can make a significant difference in maintaining a strong connection with your teen.

Listen Without Judgement

No parent wants their child to struggle, whether it's with their mental health or other challenges, but it's far better for them to talk to you than to keep things bottled up inside. If your teen opens up to you about something that is troubling them, take it as a sign that they feel comfortable enough to share what they’re feeling. They might not tell you everything, but that's perfectly normal and to be expected.

You might not always understand what they're going through or be knowledgeable about a specific condition they may have. However, the key is to listen without judgment. This approach can help your child to feel valued and loved. And by providing a safe and supportive environment, you encourage open communication and show that you are there for them, no matter what they are facing.

Learning From Mistakes

Making mistakes is a natural part of life, and the teenage years are a prime time for these to happen. This isn’t to say that as a parent you should let all boundaries slide, however, allowing your teen to make errors within reason, can be beneficial.

Not only can this provide them with the space they need to learn from their mistakes, but they can also learn you are there to support them when things go wrong during this stage of life and beyond.

Respect Their Privacy

It’s not always easy to accept that your teenager may no longer want to share everything they used to with you. The time very may well even come when they seek out their parents again as an older teen or as they become adults. So, for now, it's a good idea to respect their need for personal space. This could mean allowing them to spend time alone in their room without interruption, for instance, or resisting the urge to pry for information.

Respecting their privacy helps build trust and shows that you acknowledge their need for freedom. By giving them the space they require, you demonstrate that you trust them to manage their own time and decisions. This approach supports their development as well as strengthens your relationship, as they will appreciate your understanding and respect. Balancing this with being available when they do need you is key to maintaining a healthy and supportive connection.

While some behaviours are perfectly normal for teens, if you are concerned about your child’s mental health, then we signpost you to these external resources for support:

• NHS Every Mind Matters - mental health support
• The Samaritans provide a free 24-hours a day, 7 days a week support service on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org
• Mind - the mental health charity
• Young Minds - mental health support for young people
• The Ollie Foundation - suicide awareness and support
• Papyrus - a service for young people who are thinking about suicide, or those with concerns about others. Support line: 0800 068 41 41