Teen Identity - 7 Tips to Support Your Teen at Home
The teenage years can be exciting - filled with newfound freedom and endless possibilities. But they can also be challenging, both for teens and their parents. Many teenagers face additional difficulties such as bullying, rejection, or discrimination.
As a parent, you simply want your child to be happy and safe, so it can be difficult to see them struggle. And when you're juggling your own commitments, like work, you might not always be fully aware of what they’re going through or feel you have the time to address their needs. Despite these challenges, there are many ways to support your teen and strengthen your bond through advocacy.
Here are seven tips to help you support your teen.
1. Make home their safe space
Your home should be a sanctuary - a place where your child feels safe, accepted, and free to be themselves without fear of judgement or the need to hide their true identity. This involves actively listening to your child without criticism and consistently showing them unconditional love.
Creating a supportive and loving environment extends to everyone in the household, including your partner and other children, if applicable. Encourage open communication and educate everyone about the importance of respect and understanding. By cultivating a home where each member feels valued and accepted, you help build a strong foundation that benefits your teen’s emotional and mental wellbeing.
Not every conversation needs to be about identity, bullying, or mental health. Sometimes just asking, "Want to go for a walk?" or "What was the highlight of your week?" can create a low-pressure space for your teen to open up, naturally. Build regular check-ins into your routine, let them take the lead on deeper discussions when they're ready.
2. Learn together
Learning about your teen's identity doesn’t have to be a time-consuming process. By showing a willingness to listen and seeking out reliable online resources, you can gain a better understanding - especially if it’s something unfamiliar to you.
To become the advocate your child needs, look for teen-friendly resources that are easy for both of you to digest. Websites, articles, and videos that explain various identities in a clear and supportive manner can be incredibly useful. This collaborative approach not only helps you stay informed but also shows your teen that you’re there for them every step of the way.
3. Look out for signs of bullying
A study conducted by Just Like Us in 2021 revealed that 43% of school pupils had experienced identity-related bullying in the past year. As a working parent, it can be even hard to detect signs of bullying—especially if your teen tries to keep the situation to themselves, hides the evidence or if you're both frequently out of the house.
However, there are subtle signs to watch for. These may include frequent complaints of headaches, stomach aches, or feigning illness. Your teen might also mention recurring nightmares, show signs of low self-esteem, or engage in destructive behaviours such as self-harm or disappearing from home. It's crucial to stay alert to these indicators, as they may point to underlying issues. For more tips on what to do if your child is being bullied, refer to our previous article, which provides comprehensive advice and strategies to support your teen.
4. Respect their privacy
Your teen may have recently confided in you about their identity but might not yet feel comfortable sharing it with others. It’s a significant step that they trust you with this part of their life and are beginning to feel secure in who they are. However, this trust doesn’t extend to sharing that information with others without their consent.
Even if you believe family and friends would be supportive, the reality is that they may still face discrimination. Let your teen decide when (and if) they wish to disclose their identity, allowing them to do so in their own time and on their own terms.
5. Be visible
Whenever possible, speak up against discrimination or microaggressions, whether at work, in social settings, or within your community. This demonstrates that you are an active ally for your teen. That said, supporting your child doesn’t mean disclosing their experiences to others or explaining that they’re facing discrimination.
Instead, focus on showing your support through your actions. By promoting inclusivity and respect in your everyday life, you’re sending a clear message to your teen, and those around you, that you’re an advocate for equality and acceptance.
6. Encourage community and peer connection
While parental support is crucial, teens also benefit immensely from connecting with peers who share similar experiences or identities. Look into support groups, clubs, youth groups, or community organisations (online or offline) that promote inclusivity and empowerment.
These spaces can help your teen feel seen and understood beyond the home, reinforcing their understanding that they’re not alone.
7. Focus on them as a whole person
Try to recognise that identity is just one part of your teen’s life, much like their skin or hair colour. Your teen is a multifaceted individual with a range of interests, talents, and roles - whether as a loving child, grandchild, sibling, or friend.
While it’s important they feel proud of their identity, it’s equally vital to acknowledge and celebrate their other qualities and achievements. By encouraging their hobbies and interests, you help your teen feel valued and supported across all aspects of life. This will help them to build their own sense of self-worth and belonging.