8 Simple Ways to Make People Feel Heard

In a world where conversations often feel rushed or distracted, the ability to actively listen is a rare and powerful skill. Active listening is not just about hearing words; it's about being fully present, engaging with empathy, and creating a space where others feel truly understood. Whether at home with family or in the office with colleagues, the art of active listening can strengthen bonds, build trust, and improve communication. But how can we master this skill in a way that goes beyond the basics?

1. Create a listening environment

It's common advice to "put away your phone" or "make eye contact," but active listening goes beyond simply being present. To make someone feel truly heard, you need to be completely immersed in the conversation. This means suspending judgment and putting aside your internal monologue. Try focusing on how the other person feels, not just what they're saying. This level of empathy can create a more genuine connection and allows the person to feel like their feelings are valued, not just their words.

Tip: Practise "pause and reset." Before a crucial conversation, take a deep breath, clear your mind, and give yourself permission to be fully present.

2. Use your body language to communicate listening

Listening isn't just an auditory experience - your body plays a pivotal role in how people perceive whether they're being heard. Leaning slightly forward, maintaining eye contact, and nodding at key moments are small but impactful ways to show you're engaged. But there's more to it than just the obvious. Your posture can convey warmth and openness, while a subtle gesture like resting your hands on your lap can signal calm and attentiveness. In situations where the other person is sharing something emotional, your body language can provide the reassurance they need to continue. And whatever you do - do NOT glance at your watch!

Tip: Try mirroring your colleague's body language subtly. If they lean in, you lean in. If they pause, allow a moment of silence before responding. It's a technique that creates rapport and makes the person feel like you're in sync with their emotions and thoughts.

3. Ask thoughtful, open-ended questions

A common pitfall in many conversations is falling into a pattern of asking questions that only require a "yes" or "no" response. While these questions are easy, they don't invite further exploration. Instead, lean into open-ended questions that encourage the speaker to elaborate. Questions like "How did that situation make you feel?" or "What did you learn from that experience?" invite deeper dialogue and give the other person space to share their story.

By asking questions that aren't just about gathering information, but about understanding feelings and perspectives, you signal that you care about the person's experience and are not simply seeking to fill gaps in your knowledge.

Tip: Reframe your questions to explore feelings or challenges. For example, instead of asking, "Did that project go well?", try, "What part of the project did you find most rewarding, and what was the biggest challenge you faced?"

4. Tune into non-verbal cues

Listening isn't just about words - it's about what's not being said too. Pay attention to facial expressions, body posture, and tone of voice. Sometimes a person's words may be at odds with what their body language is telling you, and that's where your active listening can shine.

For example, a colleague might say, "I'm fine," but if their shoulders are slumped and their voice lacks energy, it's a signal that they might not be. A skilled listener will pick up on these cues and ask more open-ended questions to explore what's going on beneath the surface.

5. Don't rush to offer solutions

It's natural to want to offer solutions when someone is venting or sharing a problem. But in many cases, especially with colleagues or friends, they may simply need to feel heard before they are ready for advice. Instead of jumping straight into problem-solving or offering advice, try validating their emotions first. This can be as simple as acknowledging, "That sounds frustrating" or "I can understand why you feel that way."

Pro tip: When someone shares a concern, try asking, "What do you think the next steps might be?" instead of immediately suggesting an answer. Give them the space to process and come to their conclusions. Sometimes, just knowing they've been listened to can help them find their own answers.

6. Allow silence to speak

In both personal and professional settings, it's tempting to fill every silence with words. But sometimes, silence is the most powerful tool in active listening. After someone shares something important, resist the urge to immediately respond. Instead, sit with the silence for a few seconds. This small pause demonstrates that you're willing to wait for their thoughts, which creates a space for them to feel heard, without the pressure to fill every moment with words. This also conveys that you are taking the time to fully process what's been said and form a more thoughtful response.

7. Be vulnerable in your listening

Being an active listener doesn't mean you need to be stoic or detached. In fact, showing a little vulnerability can create a more authentic conversation. Share your own experiences when appropriate, as this can help the other person feel more comfortable being open with you. The key is balance - don't overshadow their experience with your own but share enough to show that you understand.

This vulnerability can also help to break down barriers in professional relationships, making it easier to collaborate and build trust. After all, relationships at work are about human connection, not just business transactions.

8. Reflect and summarise

After a conversation, one of the best ways to show you've been actively listening is by reflecting back what you've heard. This doesn't mean parroting their words but summarising the key points and offering your perspective. For instance, "It sounds like you're saying that the project deadline is too tight, and you're feeling stressed about it. Is that right?" This not only shows you're paying attention, but it also helps clarify any misunderstandings early on.

Active listening is not just a skill for leaders or therapists; it's a universal tool that can make a profound impact on every conversation you have, whether at work or home. It's a gift - one that enriches relationships, builds trust, and fosters deeper understanding in both professional and personal contexts.

Next time you speak with someone, remember that the most meaningful conversations often happen when we listen more than we speak.