Managing Guilt Around Working Through the Holidays:

The holiday season is here – and with it, a swirl of excitement and anticipation. The lights, the songs, the hustle and bustle, and the excitement on our children’s faces as the big day approaches. But if you’re a working parent, there’s a fair chance that along with the anticipation, a hefty dose of guilt has crept in. Managing work commitments when the children are home – excited and full of holiday cheer – can feel like an impossible balancing act.

If the guilt is creeping in, take heart. You’re far from alone in this balancing act, and there are ways to keep the season magical while meeting your work commitments. Here’s a helpful guide for making the most of this season with your family – without letting guilt steal the joy from your holidays.

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

Start by acknowledging your feelings. Feeling guilty doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong; it simply shows how much you value your family. That’s a good thing! It’s also natural to experience mixed emotions when working through the holidays. You may feel grateful for your job while wishing for more family time, or proud of your productivity yet yearning for a chance to rest. Being honest with yourself can make it easier to manage those pangs of guilt.

If it helps, you could try shifting focus toward what’s within your control. If you’ve got deadlines to meet or shifts to cover, you’re doing what’s necessary to keep your family secure. Understand that every career path and work schedule is unique, and working during the holidays can also be a meaningful experience.

2. Embrace New Traditions

Let’s be real: a full day of frosty outings or marathon sessions of festive films may not always fit into your workday. Instead, try weaving in small, festive activities that don’t require hours to plan or execute. Whether it’s a movie night, a little holiday baking session, or a winter walk, these quality moments will be the ones your children remember. After all, it’s not about how many hours you spend together but the spirit you bring to the time you have.

Here are a few ideas to consider:

Festive Breakfasts: A small, special breakfast of pancakes shaped like reindeer, or a quick hot chocolate topped with marshmallows might add a bit of holiday cheer to the morning.

Tiny Tradition Breaks: Taking just ten minutes to make Christmas cards or string popcorn garlands together can create special moments without needing to carve out hours.

Evening Lights Walk: After work, take a quick stroll with the family to look at the holiday lights in your neighbourhood. It’s low-stress, free, and always memorable.

These little festive moments add up and remind your children that you’re present with them, even if you’re balancing work commitments.

3. Communicate with Your Family

Often, guilt stems from the feeling that we’re disappointing others. Proactively communicating with family and friends about your holiday work schedule can relieve this pressure.

Children are often more understanding than we give them credit for. If your children are old enough to understand, a little explanation about why you’re working during the holidays could go a long way. Sometimes, a simple child-friendly explanation like, “I have a job that helps us do nice things like get presents and go on family days,” can help them know you’re working for a reason. They may feel more involved and appreciative – and you’ll feel less guilty about your commitments.

4. Set Boundaries with Work (and Stick to Them!)

It’s easy to feel tempted to just check one last email or tick one more item off the list. But when you’re working over the holidays, boundaries can be your best friend. A clear work-life structure allows you to be fully present in both spaces without feeling like you’re constantly sacrificing one for the other.

Decide when you’ll be “on” and when you’ll be “off,” and communicate these times to your family and team. For instance, try switching your work notifications off when you’re celebrating with your family.

Similarly, don’t overcommit to family and friends if you’re already feeling stretched too thin. It’s perfectly okay to say “no” to plans if they’ll add unnecessary stress. Prioritise what feels meaningful and manageable for you and your family, and remember that sometimes a quiet, cosy holiday can be just as special.

5. Make Time for Yourself

While it’s easy to make everything about work or family, carving out a few minutes for yourself could be surprisingly refreshing. Whether it’s a quick stroll, a short reading session, or a few quiet moments with a cup of tea, a little time just for you might help you stay more relaxed and present. A happy, rested parent can bring a lot more cheer to the season!

6. Be Realistic and Let Go of Perfection

The ideal holiday we imagine – endless family activities, homemade treats, perfect decorations – can sometimes create pressure. Letting go of the need for perfection might make it easier to focus on the bits that matter most. If some activities need to wait until next year or a few holiday treats are store-bought, that’s entirely okay!

When you let go of perfection, you make space for a season that’s joyful, not stressful. Remember, the holidays are a time for joy, connection, and relaxation, not a checklist of to-dos.

7. Delegate and Share the Load

If you’re partnered, maybe you could share responsibilities more intentionally this season. If you’re both working through the holidays, dividing tasks could help balance out family time. And if you’re a single parent, reaching out to friends or relatives might lighten the load. Perhaps a trusted friend could take the children to a festive event, or a family member could look after them for an afternoon.

Children can often help out too! Children love to be involved, so turn tasks into fun holiday activities they can do with you. Wrapping presents, decorating the house, and even helping in the kitchen are all opportunities for quality time.

8. Show Yourself Some Compassion

Above all, maybe a little kindness toward yourself could go a long way. Working through the holidays doesn’t make you any less of a wonderful parent. In fact, you’re showing your children resilience, commitment, and adaptability – qualities that could serve them well as they grow. So perhaps remind yourself that you’re doing your best, which is more than enough.

Working through the holidays as a parent isn’t always easy, but it doesn’t have to be a guilt-ridden experience either. By setting realistic expectations, creating small, joyful moments, and prioritising quality over quantity, you can keep the holiday spirit alive without feeling like you’re letting anyone down.

So, here’s to a holiday season that’s merry, bright, and (hopefully) a little lighter on the guilt. Happy holidays and remember – you’ve got this!